


Only to Feel

by burntgrace (pound_of_feathers_and_whiskey)



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Johnlock Fluff, M/M, Short One Shot, Start to a Relationship, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-17
Updated: 2014-10-17
Packaged: 2018-02-21 12:30:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2468255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pound_of_feathers_and_whiskey/pseuds/burntgrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock, being an outcast, doesn't get much physical affection. John is there to remedy that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only to Feel

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, first published one-shot!  
> Comments are appreciated. Not beta read.

The first thing that John noticed, going thirsty down the steps, were the muffled gasps. The usual piercing sound if violin, or the comfortable tapping of a computer were unnaturally unapparent.

Making his way down the cold stairs, the gasps grew louder and more spread out. The cries sounded pained, and muted, like through clenched teeth. This was proved as he peeked around the corner and gazed upon something no one else had ever witnessed.

Sherlock Holmes sobbing.

The sight itself froze John in place, left to watch as his chest was wound tight. The shuddering figure sat curled in his chair, dim light from the kitchen reflecting in the tears streaming down his face. He sniffled, and wrapped his arms around himself tighter as he let out another muffled sob.

John's heart wrenched at the sound, tears prickling his own eyes. His face softened, and he turned to give Sherlock his privacy when he heard a broken whimper that nearly broke his heart right there. 

"John." Sherlock managed in between sobs. His voice sounded wrecked, as if this had been going on for hours. Looking over his shoulder, John could see Sherlock staring at him; tears still running down his face.

His sunken eyes were swollen, a look so profound John was helpless to running over to his companion. Sherlock, though aware of John's presence kept his eyes trained on the legs of John's own chair. Crouching down to his knees, John warily put a hand on Sherlock's rigid leg. Sherlock choked on another shattering sob, eyes fluttering shut at the contact.

John stared at Sherlock’s crumpling face for a long moment, his sobs becoming notably quieter as John rubbed small circles into his flesh with his shaking thumb. His long wondering of what Sherlock needed was resolved as John quickly stood up.

Sherlock gasped and looked at him in horror, as though he thought the older man was going to leave. John gave him a tight smile as he gently pulled Sherlock’s arms away from his own shuddering body. His head gave a small shake but allowed his arms to be placed limply at either side.

Sherlock sniffled, confused as John put one of his arms through the crook of Sherlock’s knees and another around his shoulders. He stiffened, but still leant towards the touch he so craved. He gripped the front of Johns shirt, allowing himself to be picked up like he weighed nothing. John showed no signs of strain, muscle from the army still apparent and toned.

He set the younger man down gently on the couch across the room, sidestepping the coffee table at his knees. As John turned to push it back a few inches so that he may walk comfortably, Sherlock granted another sob to break free from his sore throat. Looking back, John kept a light hand on Sherlock’s knee.

He sat down carefully, and moved to pull Sherlock into his lap. The younger man placed his head on John's shoulder, nuzzling his neck a bit. John peered down and smiled gently, pushing an arm under Sherlock’s knees to pull him closer.

"I don't deserve this- this affection." Sherlock whispered softly, small tremors appearing throughout his body.

"Shhhh. I'm choosing to give it, all you have to do is accept." John commented just as quietly, resting his chin on Sherlock's tousled hair.

"But no one ever does... no one ever," the detective managed to choke out before breaking out into violent sobs. John moved his free hand up and down Sherlock’s back, cooing into the black curls.

"It's okay, It's okay Sherlock. I'm here, I've got you."

It was a long while, the once dark sky just starting to pale when Sherlock’s cries turned to soft snores. John was stiff and cold yet he paid it no mind, instead opting to stand up slowly and walk into the kitchen to procure a tea towel. Following the dampening of it in the sink, he walked back to his flatmates sleeping form and gently wiped his face clean.

After setting the cloth on the coffee table he gingerly picked up his sleeping acquaintance and steadily walked into Sherlock's room. Placing him on the bed, he pulled the duvet up around the younger man's figure.

John paused for a moment, hand rested on Sherlock’s shoulder. John reached up and lightly brushed some of the winding locks out of the man's serene face. His calloused hands stroked a cheekbone affectionately, humming a shy smile.

After a moment, he sighed and turned to exit the room. At the doorway, hand on the brass knob, John heard a single raspy:

"Stay."

He looked to bright blue bloodshot eyes, so open and hopeful. He stepped once again inside the room, this time shutting the door behind him. He padded over to the unoccupied side of the bed, pulled down the soft comforter and in he went.

He laid his head down on a pillow, facing Sherlock whom was staring blankly at the ceiling. With a light chuckle, he wrapped an arm around Sherlock’s midsection and pulled him close. His chin went to the bony shoulder in front of him as he felt his ally (friend, flatmate- whatever) relax into him. John sat and listened to the man's breath slow as he drifted before placing a chaste kiss to the dark hairline.

He closed his eyes and did not see nor feel Sherlock’s pink lips form a gentle smile, yet he heard his hum as he snuggled closer into the comfort of his soldier's warm embrace and drifted to sleep.


End file.
